Have you ever wondered why bananas appear to speed up the ripening process of other fruits?
Well Bananas make other fruit ripen because they release a gas called ethene.
This gas causes ripening or softening of fruit by the breakdown of cell walls, conversion of starches to sugars and the disappearance of acids. So, therefore perfectly good fruit can go bad very quickly if left beside a Banana.
Negative people are like Bananas, over time dragging down those around them, subtly and silently.
Why do we let negative people drag us down and ruin our day?
Why do we allow others to belittle our ideas or stop us from achieving our goals?
The answer is simple, our modern world has elevated negativity to a fine art form.
It’s so easy now for people to demean others and find flaws in what they are trying to do.
They say that social media has made everyone with a phone a journalist. However, what it has really done is made everyone a critic. Too many are quick to criticise without ever trying to support.
Our 24-news cycle is filled with unrest, the pandemic and in many cases fake news.
If we are not careful it’s not that difficult to become hard wired to be a negative person.
This is without the impact of negative people around us.
It’s never been so important to have people you can rely on, friends, family and colleagues that perhaps you have taken for granted in the past but who can help you keep confident, sane and happy in difficult times.
As we battle the Covid 19 pandemic we face another infection. We must guard against, the germ of negativity. I prefer to be infected by optimism, confidence and joy.
When we associate with negative people, it’s far to easy to be sucked into their views, and biases and become influenced by their negativity
We become like the fruit lying by the Bananas, over time we become as rotten as them.
It’s time for anyone who wants to fulfil their dreams and achieve their goals to step away from negative people and their thoughts and begin to reframe.
By this I mean the following: Reframing is to look at something in a different way.
While we are sometimes our own worst critic, when you face negative feedback from others on your work or life it can have a powerful impact on how you feel. Reframing is turning that on its head.
Rather than allowing critics to be powerful judges of your self-worth or achievements, look at it differently. Take on board any thing constructive but trust your own instinct and expertise. Remember the great words of the poet Brendan Behan:
"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done; they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves."
Reframing isn’t self-delusion nor is it pretending a situation is great when it may not be. Instead it’s about seeing what could be positive and using that power to create a better outcome.
Instead of dwelling on the negative we can focus on something constructive and thus reframe a particular experience or interaction. Try it, you will find that you often change what happens as a result.
You can also change the behaviours of others. Because you have understood how you can use reframing to alter your perspective you can help address the negativity of others.
Life is better with positive friends, family and colleagues, so do not be frightened to say to them:
"I appreciate your opinions on this. But I just don't see it that way and would like to change the subject to something more positive."
Of course, this is not easy and sometimes does not work, but when it does, it can open new possibilities for everyone.
If we look at the world in a positive light and avoid allowing negative people to have power over our emotions and views, then we are well on the way to a better life.
Remember the banana rotting the fruit around it, if we allow ourselves to be influenced by others then we have only ourselves to blame.
I will leave you with the words of Gandhi:
“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet”
Stay safe everyone and I’ll speak to you again soon.
John Joe McGinley Glassagh Consulting October 2020.